There are a range of feelings that we experience in our daily lives. Most of us can handle these and stay in control. However, for some people, controlling their anger can be very detrimental to themselves and the people around them.
Is there hope for people with anger issues?
Anger can trigger physical responses similar to those of stress – raising pulse rate, blood pressure levels and adrenalin levels. Too much, too often of these and other stress hormones are damaging to human cells and tissues. But can anger ever be good for us?
The short answer to that is yes. A German study has shown that anger directed at the right person at the right time, is a healthy emotion. If we feel we, or someone close has been treated badly, then the resulting alarm response can be reduced significantly by expressing our feelings directed at the offender. The “fight or flight” response that is triggered by anger can be controlled and even reduced if we express our anger appropriately. If it is justified then the resulting feelings of satisfaction are enormously beneficial to our overall well-being. It makes us feel better.
PASSIVE-AGGRESSION is a damaging emotion, to the sufferer and to relationships. The passive aggressive sufferer shows anger in indirect ways, seething von the inside, but say nothing directly. Instead someone with passive aggression may use sulking, resentment, sarcasm, a failure to do what is requested of them, using the silent treatment, being late or “forgetting” to do something. This behaviour is extremely difficult to confront directly, and a partner or spouse of a passive-aggressive typically feels, anxious, frustrated, unloved, and feel as though they are walking on eggshells.
ROAD RAGE is an irrational and damaging type of anger, and there are only negative consequences. The person that the road rage is directed at has absolutely no idea how angry you are. There is nothing to gain by being so furious and everything to lose. Road rage is a highly charged response, it causes high stress levels, triggering the release of damaging hormones. Regular, repeated, uncontrolled anger as in road rage incidents can contribute to high blood pressure and other serious illness.
DOMESTIC ABUSE is another extremely destructive example. It is one thing to feel irritable with our partners occasionally. It is quite different when that anger takes the form of physical or psychological abuse. It is a dominating, controlling behaviour and the victim often has conflicting emotions of fear, guilt, anxiety and shame, which breeds a system of covering up and making excuses for the abuser. Domestic abuse can be instigated by either a male or a female. And whilst we have to recognise the danger of forgiving an abusive partner who uses regret as just another weapon in his or her arsenal, there is hope.
Hypnotherapy can help someone to identify and change behaviours and negative habits that may be causing relationship or work problems. For someone who has themselves been brought up in an abusive environment or has undiagnosed issues of low self-esteem, anxiety or depression, then a good hypnotherapist can help with those issues to further help the angry client to recognise abusive thoughts and actions. Once anger can be controlled and managed, fear diminishes and a normal relationship can then develop.
Anger management issues such as road rage can also be greatly supported using hypnosis, which examines the irrational unconscious response to what is a common everyday driving hazard.