How to Develop Dating Confidence
A great number of people find it extremely tough if they suddenly have to start dating again, or are indeed dating for the first time. With this in mind, you might like to ask yourself a couple of questions – do you actually feel that you lack confidence in regards to dating? Are you still carrying the baggage of earlier romantic relationships?
If you are hoping to form a new relationship, the first thing that’s likely to stop you being open to dating is having low self-esteem or confidence problems. This is often re-enforced by how we read the situation by saying thigs to ourselves like ‘I’ll never find a partner’. It can often be that we get what we ask for!
When confidence is low, dating opportunities are very easily missed. People often make excuses, as this can be a handy way out. For example, telling yourself you are still ‘on the rebound’ after 5 years might just be a little unnecessary.
Plenty of people actually become anxious at just the idea of dating because they’re terrified that their date won’t like the real them. But it’s not the situation itself that really compacts the problem, rather our thought processes surrounding the events of our lives, and this has everything to do with the stories we tell ourselves, and the habits we are in.
It’s clear that over time and with practice, we can get better at avoiding the subject. At some point something has to change, and not just on a conscious level. Subconscious patterns of behavior are formed through the very stories and avoidance tactics we employ. It’s more than a lack of confidence. An increase in anxiety surrounding the topic of dating will often ensue.
A good starting point is to get clear about what it is that you want, as it’s less than helpful to keep sending yourself mixed messages. This might have to do with lifestyle, location, interests, aspirations etc. There is a part of the brain known as the anterior cingulate, which acts as a kind of GPS signal for where we are going, but if you don’t put in the coordinates, then it can’t help you to get you to where you want to be.
One great way of engaging the mind in a positive and forward looking way is to see a Professional Hypnotherapist. Local hypnotherapist Sam Little explains “our approach is all about getting clear on the goals to build that picture. We then use hypnosis to bring the various parts of the mind together to focus on that one goal. It’s a hugely relaxing experience, and after all, when you are relaxed, you cannot at the same time be anxious”.
Confidence is indeed another opposite to anxiety, and one which relies on intellectual as opposed to primitive brain function. A Solution Focused Hypnotherapy approach as employed by Sam and Liane at Changes Welcome Hypnotherapy is all about getting you back into intellectual control, so that you then have access to your own resources. You might think of this as your better self, which is the one who is optimistic, fun, confident, and happy. In short, an absolute pleasure to be around.
Through using the right techniques, you can discover how to re-assess past traumatic experiences, and see them in a new light. You can be comfortable, confident and settled around other people, whilst utilizing constructive thoughts, rather than negative feelings like fear or anxiety. You will also begin to foster an attitude of confidence that you will ultimately succeed, and may even have a great time along the way!
Nobody is able to bring love to you, but if you want to, you can be open to finding it by addressing your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs.
Changes Welcome Hypnotherapy holds regular practice hours in Berkeley, Nailsworth and Bristol. To book an initial consultation where you can learn more about how this therapy can help you, just call 01453 367 870/ 07825 286 550 and speak to Liane or Sam, or visit www.changeswelcome.com.